Friday, July 14, 2006

An Open Letter to Dr. Laura

While cruising through my favorite blogs this evening, I came across a post by John Good that had me nearly falling out of the chair from laughing. Enjoy.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. For example, when someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

And that's just a sample. Click on the link below to read the whole thing. Hilarious. Great work, John.

Left In Aboite: Literal Leviticus

Here's another picture of Dr. Laura before she became obsessed with all of that Bible garbage and proper behavior mumbo-jumbo...

More evidence of sanctimonious bullshit here.

13 Comments:

At July 14, 2006 8:25 PM, Blogger celticfire said...

ABSOLUTELY funny!

 
At July 14, 2006 8:48 PM, Blogger Donnie McDaniel said...

LMAO, that is toooooo funnnny!!

 
At July 14, 2006 11:40 PM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

good stuff

 
At July 15, 2006 5:36 AM, Blogger glenda said...

LOve it, I have listened to DR. L. many times because, well, same reason I listen to Rush. Want to know where their low-level thinking is heading. My daughter heard her on the radio one day and asked, "Why is that lady so mean?"

On another topic, thin we fixed the glitch at PT. Can you try getting back on PT and leaving me a msg. at Glenda as to whether you are back on? Thanks.

 
At July 15, 2006 7:18 AM, Blogger Human said...

Hi PT. I just added you to my friendly list. Long overdue.

Peace.

 
At July 15, 2006 3:15 PM, Blogger thepoetryman said...

Katherine Harris naked souless carcas is not my idea of fun viewing! I need a shower...

Thanks a lot, PT! :>/

 
At July 15, 2006 3:17 PM, Blogger thepoetryman said...

How about- Katherine Harris' naked soulless carcass is not my idea of fun viewing!

Again. Damn thee fingers! Damn thee to the West Wing and back!

 
At July 15, 2006 4:12 PM, Blogger LadyCelticFire said...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW am thouroughly disturbed now PT THANKSSSSSSSSSSS EWWWWWWWW

 
At July 15, 2006 4:14 PM, Blogger LadyCelticFire said...

Damn yous, I CLICKED the link.... WHY DID I CLICK THE LINK??????????

And DAMN has she heard of a razor??? Jeebus thats what I call Bush LOL DAMN

 
At July 15, 2006 4:23 PM, Blogger PTCruiser said...

Ha! Glad you enjoyed it, LCF.

 
At July 15, 2006 8:54 PM, Blogger LadyCelticFire said...

HA wanna encourage absitnance in schools??? Show THESE pics LMAO HAHAHAHA

 
At July 16, 2006 5:44 PM, Blogger mdhatter said...

Darn, I guess i have to let JaquƩs free.

 
At July 19, 2006 9:00 PM, Blogger Butchieboy said...

Those look pretty good for being colorized. I'm surprised she could hold still for a minute in each one of those.

 

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