Saturday, April 08, 2006

Bushism of the Week

"Wow! Brazil is big."

—George W. Bush, after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Brasilia, Brazil, Nov. 6, 2005


At April 08, 2006 10:54 PM, Blogger toobusyliving said...

Let's talk Depeche Mode sometime. In the meantime, here are some quotes a columnist I love wrote - hope they are "okay" with you, and that you might even like them:

Heather mallick Quotes (they are kinda mean, but funny - at least she likes the U.S. Northeast )

Americans show themselves to the world mainly through their television, and yet they wonder why foreigners detest them. Everyone has a personal last straw, and mine was one of those relentlessly optimistic home-improvement shows on a wonderful new product: the "maintenance-free white picket fence." You guessed it: By maintenance-free, they meant plastic. It snapped together. What astonished me was that they were still calling it a fence. And somehow you just knew that next summer, when it sagged and yellowed, they wouldn't see it, and when a light breeze carried it away, they'd be really surprised.

Americans have even made themselves physically ridiculous. When you walk around Paris, the memory you bring home with you is not of the Seine or that embarrassing dog problem, it's les fesses enormes,the huge buttocks of the American tourists. They go one way, their owners go another. These people look like they're being stalked by something horrible, and to what purpose? It's not as if they enjoyed the process.

I think of the bounty Americans had, an Edenic landscape clogged with visionaries, some with a notion that the freedom of slaves was worth a fight to the death.

And then I think how the U.S. Postal Service just issued a Barbie stamp.

Americans themselves call it dumbing down, but I think it's more a matter of catering to Southerners. My theory is that the United States was ruined by air conditioning. That's what made possible the industrial rise of the South and finally allowed what was basically a swamp populated by yokels to be taken semi-seriously.

American reporter David Drehle, in the course of a very depressed book on Florida's death row, has a simpler explanation. He says America occasionally gives itself a shake and the scum settles to the bottom. My impression is that tiny bubbles rise, too, isolated outbreaks of intelligence that thrive in the colder climates of the Eastern Seaboard, Seattle, and parts of the Midwest. This explains Harper's Magazine, some fine, subversive rock 'n' roll, and a Web site known as The Onion.

If you ever want evidence that Americans are the most ineducable people on Earth, read the Web site that purports to sell books and offers "reviews" written by actual readers. It's terrifying. Most of them are complaints that they were forced to read this damn book by some hated authority figure like a teacher, or Oprah, and it doesn't have a plot they can follow, so watch out.

I just don't get the ending, one wrote angrily, and I wanted to cry. He was talking about The Great Gatsby. "Gradually, I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors' eyes -- a fresh, green breast of the new world."

At April 09, 2006 10:59 AM, Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

Joke you'll appreciate:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"

"OH, NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks.........."How many is a Brazillion ??"

At April 09, 2006 3:37 PM, Blogger Rory Shock said...

what a frickin' nitwit

At April 09, 2006 4:27 PM, Blogger PTCruiser said...

Thanks for that contribution TBL. That Heather Mallick doesn't pull any punches, huh?

Kat, thank you for the joke du jour here at PTCruiser.

Rory, that was totally uncalled for. Why don't you lighten up on the poor guy? Can't you see he's doing the best he can with what limited faculties he has to work with? "Heh heh heh."

At April 09, 2006 10:40 PM, Anonymous DAD said...

His next remark was no wounder they callit BRAZILLON.


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