Will They Fly a Plane into Our House?

This is an actual book that you can purchase to help reinforce your own fears and scare the bejesus out of your kids while you're at it.

One customer at Amazon.com gave this helpful tome a glowing review:

OH NOES!!!!!!!!111, April 21, 2006
Reviewer:
bungholes "bungholio" (with carmen sandiago) - See all my reviews

"My kids kept asking me redundant questions about if terrorits are going to attack us, to which I comfortingly tell them "Of course they will. And not only will they capture you alive, but they will boil you alive and eat you as well. If you ever see a plane, run. Just run." Its pretty fun to see them scream and run away under their beds after telling them this. This is indeed, a fine piece of literature."

By far, one of the most helpful parts of this book is the section,"Answers to Parents' Questions".

They even have an answer for that worried parent whose biggest concern is that their child may not be showing the same level of patriotic fear and paranoia that the rest of the family is displaying...

Q: My 8-year-old child doesn’t seem to be affected at all by the terrorist attack even though it is constantly on television and everyone in the family is talking about it. Is this a problem?

A: There are different reasons why a child may not want deal with his feelings. You should not force your child to talk about his feelings, but you should make it clear that you have feelings about what has happened and you are available to talk when he is ready. Reading the questions and answers in Part II of this book and doing the activities in Part III may help.

I think the question would have been better phrased in this manner...

Q: Should I contact the Department of Homeland Security and make them aware of the glaring fact that my child is harboring sympathy for the terrorists and doesn't care that they are trying to destroy our way of life? Huh? Should I?

We can all thank our lucky stars that we have good, patriotic men like Dr. Shapiro in this country doing their part to ensure that our next generation maintains the high level of panic this nation has come to stand for.