Rotting Teeth in America

Not satisfied with their attempt at destroying our precious pet population, the Chinese government has launched an all-out assault on dental hygiene in the USA. Why do they hate us so much? The real problem appears to be their jealousy of our God-given freedom to choose our brand of dentifrice.

US checks toothpaste for toxins

- BBC

Health officials in the United States say they are checking all shipments of toothpaste imported from China for contamination with toxic chemicals.

Full terrifying story here.

In the meantime, the Department of Homeland Security is recommending that patriotic families across the nation use duct tape as a preventive measure to put a stop to toothpaste poisoning. Pictured below is an example for the rest of us to follow...