Wednesday, January 03, 2007

This Just In From Pat Robertson

Associated Press-

In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007.

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Of course God didn't say "nuclear", Pat. Everyone knows that the correct pronunciation is "nukular", which, as George W. Bush will tell you, is the way the good Lord intended it to be spoken.

When asked for the reason behind this "mass killing", Robertson replied, "You know, the Lord doesn't give me all the answers for why He does these things, but I can tell you one thing: I have a strong suspicion that it's a direct result of feminism and homosexuality."


At January 04, 2007 2:45 AM, Blogger GraemeAnfinson said...

Does anyone take Pat serious anymore? God I hope not

At January 04, 2007 5:50 AM, Blogger Peacechick Mary said...

OMG! Did you make those pics? They are faaaahbulous! Funny and fabulous. Thanks for the chuckles, PT.

At January 04, 2007 7:20 AM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

If god talked to me, I would sure as hell tape record it. Imagine what I could get for the tape on e-bay.

At January 04, 2007 2:08 PM, Blogger Donnie McDaniel said...

Once again, the man is just as big a lunatic as Bush. The man is so far gone that even a fellow nutjob, Jack Van Impe, spoke out about him one time! Now that is saying something.

At January 04, 2007 4:49 PM, Blogger Human said...

I remember when during the latest Israeli invasion of Lebanon Wolf Blitzer had a lengthy interview with his "good friend" the Irreverant Pat Robertson in the Bloody er I mean Holy Land. They did everything but copulate on tv. It was truly sickening to see the way the MSM hugs up to to Robertson. Notice that they don't let the leaders of say The United Church of Christ and other progressive religious people on. They don't fit the agenda.

I've called up the prayer line at the 700 Club many times. I think I'll call again tomorrow. It's obvious Robertson, Blitzer and Bush worship God. Their God of Death and Destruction not Life and Resurrection.

ps - I read a good one recently - "Get real, like Jesus would ever own a gun and vote Republican".

At January 06, 2007 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great photo shops my friend! Got the big laugh out for that one!

Hooooooo Agggghhhh!

And pulled this out from a few days ago on APJ just for your pleasure.


The gleaming gates have again swung wide
On the godforsaken orb drifting under the sun.

We should not listen to indifference any longer.
We should not listen to those with god-smacking jaws.
We should not listen to those with money and interests.
We should not regard the voices in their slumbering lechery.
We should only listen to our gut, heed only our crimson center.
And we most certainly needn’t listen to Pat Robertson’s treachery.

If, since 9/11, terror’s been unleashed on America it has been this;
Fear of: mass killings, assassination, stroke, wrath, and vengeance.

The sermonizing, amplifying, braying man straps God to his breath
And beats down upon the heads of fools starving themselves of love.
This fetid preacher isn’t speaking for anyone but those that live his lie;
"I have a relatively good track record," he said. "Sometimes I miss."
It is unmistakably and excruciatingly apparent that he is acting alone.

His ignorant congregations consume the roots of life’s emerald hours.
His god-smacking flock of cheerless sheep swill these tales of doom
Like children hopeful for candy or their warrior parent’s happy return.

Doom and gloom make a black gown for the gentle wind to wear
And useless tales of His spoken voice plow holes for its grave...

Peace, PT.

At January 06, 2007 4:37 PM, Blogger sumo said...

Robertson looks like a raging alcoholic to me.

At January 06, 2007 8:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you talk to God -- that's prayer.
God talks to you -- that's schizophrenia.
hey PT--
may I link to your blog?

At January 07, 2007 1:57 AM, Blogger enigma4ever said...

the thing I don't understand is WHY does the media come out humping his crap everytime ????why? he is not some great leader= he looks like a nutcase- no wonder foreigners laugh at us....urgh..

( Love the WTF map btw)

At January 08, 2007 9:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so let's see -- this tv preacher wants more money sent to him and well, if you get blown up you won't need it anymore...

sounds logical to me -- NOT!!

love the pics!

At January 08, 2007 11:01 PM, Blogger enigma4ever said...

You know I have thought about this- can't we send him,,,put him on his Operation Blessing Plane and send him Somewhere? Anywhere- you know tell him it is a Mission ????

At January 10, 2007 11:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what do you want to bet he's in favor of the 'surge'?
so, send him to Iraq! no body armour, no weapons. tell him God will protect him. he'd believe it. and we'd be rid of him--

At January 16, 2007 7:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Over 34,000 ppl killed in Iraq this year, I would call that a mass killing. Maybe Pat & his buddys are betting(praying)that it tops 40,000 in 07.

At January 17, 2007 7:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it when they blame "feminism" for the ills of the world.

Poor, dickless, little boys afraid the girls will beat them up.

It also occurs to me that an awful lot of the wrong-wing Xtians seem to forget that little ditty in Matthew, Chapter 7.
"I never knew you"


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